Week 5 (It’s Delicious)

Life is, of course.

The MKMMA Program, as well.

Reading some of the other member’s blogs and it’s nice to know that people are hanging in there. I hate to see people beat themselves up. Even those folks who decided not to go through with this course shouldn’t be kicking themselves. Nothing ever comes of it.

You’d be surprised to see the obstacles people are overcoming just to meet their deadlines. It’s so encouraging and I’m learning so much about the human spirit from other members.

It’s week 5 (we’re just about into week 6) and I’m finding that my habits are growing legs and arms of their own. And I’m getting to the point where when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. The alternative is to feel like complete crap. And who wants to feel like that, right?! No me.

This week my guide is supposed to introduce me to the other members in my groups, and I’m so excited. I just know that there will be folks who I can learn from, and encourage. Just that thought alone pleases me.

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Week 4 (75%)

…it was all I had to give this week and that was enough. The old blue print tried making me feel bad, to no avail though. I just kept it moving because I have faith that everything I desire now in life is going to manifest. Yup. I just have faith.

It turns out that I have to revise my DMP yet again because, even though I am talking about helping others deals with the issues of abuse and neglect, the subby doesn’t know the difference. And, while I find that truly hard to believe…whatever. It’s a small issue, and one that I will not allow myself to get stuck on.

I find that the fourth week is when you really have to dig your heels in and remember why you applied for the scholarship. In my case, it was my cousin who encouraged me to do so. She mentioned it one day on something I had posted on Facebook and we never spoke about it again. About a month later, I remembered her comment and asked her to provide me with more information (which she did) and wah lah! Here I stand among some of the greatest of men.

I will say this: everything is getting so much easier now. My subconscious is literally leading the way and I can feel the difference. If it wants to go for a walk, but my conscious mind doesn’t want to, my body tenses up. It’s like my subconscious is screaming out “WE WILL TAKE THIS DAMN WALK!” And there isn’t any excuse or reasoning strong enough to make me not take the walk. I must do it. At all costs, too.

I’m super-excited to see what week 5 will bring.

How about you?

Week 3 (Moving right along…)

The Good News: On Monday, I was supposed to spend the day with some girlfriends but I choose to take a walk around Peace Valley Park instead. Can’t remember a time I felt more certain of something I WANTED TO DO.

I contribute this choice to the information on Scroll 1 about doing away with things that no longer benefit us.

There was a time when I would have rushed into the city to be with people. But I choose a more purpose-filled, deliberate course of action this afternoon and couldn’t be prouder of myself. It was EXACTLY what I wanted to do. No question.

The Bad News: I failed to carry this attitude over to Wednesday. In my soul, I knew that I was wasting my time but failed to muster up the courage to do what benefited me. So that it would be less likely to happen in the future, I allowed myself to sit with my yucky feelings for about fifteen minutes before jumping back into the life I am created for myself.

In Other News: My PPN’s (which were autonomy and liberty) did not support my DMP. At first, this was very frustrating for me to hear. But, on faith, I went ahead and really thought about what my Definite Major Purpose is, and from there the words wrote themselves.

Anyway, my new PPN’s are Helping Others and Legacy.

In Other, Other, News: I am on my 3rd day of reading The Scroll Marked 2 (yes, I did get an early start) and really couldn’t be more thrilled to approach each day with love in my heart. I can already see how much more you’re able to accomplish with love. When led by love something breaks open from your chest and you begin to behave in ways you never would have believed.

I witnessed this in myself this afternoon while volunteering for lunch duty at my youngest child’s elementary school. Normally, I would be put off by some of the other mother’s lack of participation when it comes to wiping down the table and sweeping up the floor after the kids all went back to class. But today, none of that bothered me. I did my job. Embraced the fact that not everybody is willing to work as hard as others and continued to do my job in the most loving open way possible.

Needless to say, I left the school whistling. Not bad for my third week, huh?

Week 2 (Faith….)

That’s the only word I can possibly think of at this moment to describe what’s needed in order to finish the MKMMA PROGRAM.

Why?

Because you don’t quite know how your life will be changed once you’ve completed the program. At the same time, if you’re doing the work, you’ll find yourself getting something from the daily reading and other exercises. It’s really the simple.

What are you getting?

It depends on what you need. For myself, it’s an internal re-ordering. Since my very first reading of The Greatest Salesman in the World, there is a new appreciation for my time, the energy given to things like negative thoughts, and other people’s opinions.  I am seeing myself in a whole new light, more refined, and less weighted. Others may get something else.

Why am I still here?

I’ve tried just about any and every program on the Self-Help Market that you could think of, only to always end up a few feet away from my goal.

At least it’s always been like this. For example: back when I was about 88 pounds heavier the goal was to lose weight AND build toned and bulky muscle. Sure, I lost all of the fat, but what it took to stay in the gym and begin the process of building muscle, I never seemed to have. I started off strong: going to the gym 4x’s a week, lifting weights, working with a personal trainer, and finding time to precook my meals.

However, something else would come along and I’d take a detour. Vowing to get back to the routine (just as soon as I was finished dealing with the other issue)with the same energy and ferocity as before, only to end up back at square one when the time came.

I couldn’t keep up the momentum, and severely lacked the discipline to stay with one thing until it was perfected.

I’m paying for it now.

If your thoughts are scattered so is your energy. You can do something about that. It won’t happen overnight, but one day, you’ll feel the shift.

From there, follow it.

And that’s where I am at with the program. Going with the flow because I can feel the shift happening.

So, when I say faith, I am simply talking about being supported by something greater than myself, and the belief that I have the mind state, the work ethic, perseverance, and discipline to go after dreams bigger than what I am used to achieving. Having faith is the belief that my work habits, enthusiasm for life, and my work will speak for itself.

I’ve never had this kind of faith in myself before. It’s scary, and eye-opening.